Tag: The Not-So-Perfect Book Tag

Hey all,

I did the Perfect Book tag a few weeks ago and I’ve had a lot of fun doing it. And while I was doing it I was also thinking of all the books I really didn’t like in all those categories, so I thought I would do the opposite tag, which I’m calling the Not-So-Perfect Book tag (can I call it a semi-original tag?)
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1. If possible try to not mention the same book twice, it’s more fun that way
2. It’s a funny tag where you can rant about terrible (or just meh) books so have FUN!
3. Just do whatever you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
4. Tag me if you decide to do it, I would love to see your answers

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT GENRE

pick a book that undermines the genre as a whole

Alice by Christina Henry was a horrible retelling. It was extremely linear, not dark enough, the characters fell flat and the ending was anti-climatic. It was super short but I couldn’t wait for it to be over.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT DIALOGUE

pick a book with dialogue written so poorly that it made you cringe 

My Absolute Darling made me cringe in so many ways, but the dialogue was the worst. Examples:

“He drops to one knee and takes her into his arms. ‘Christ,’ he says, ‘Christ, Jesus Christ, kibble. Be careful. Christ, kibble. Christ.’ He drops her and she stands there, her waist encircled by his embrace. ‘How big you’re getting,’ he says, ‘how strong. My absolute darling. My absolute darling.’”

“This cheese is sick. I mean, fucking dank, is all. I know you don’t believe, but truth, I mean truth.”

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT SETTING

pick a book that takes place in a location that you wish hadn’t been picked

I Hear Your Voice by Young-Ha Kim is partially set during a motorcycle race and it felt so weird and completely pulled me out of the story.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT MAIN CHARACTER

pick the most annoying main character

All the Feels had so much potential and it was so disappointing! It could fit many categories: most annoying best friend (more of a caricature that a real character), most annoying family relationships (because the main character is an ass and its easier to write stereotypes), worst judgmental first IRL meeting, etc. But I’ll put it in the most annoying main character box because all the bad things are due to the main protagonist being annoying as fuck. I even felt the need to write my longest Goodreads review ever for that book and I’m sad I didn’t write one on my blog.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT BLURB

a blurb that was so far from the truth that it made you do a double-take and check you had read the right book

The blurb for Baby Doll by Hollie Overton is “For fans of Gone Girl and Girl on the Train, Baby Doll is the most tense thriller you will read this year” and it is completely wrong. There is no tension in this book, no mystery to solve (we know who did it from Chapter 1) and no twists; it has absolutely nothing to do with those 2 other books plot-wise. Oh and the book was horrible.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT FRIEND

from whiny attention-seeker to full-on traitor, pick a character that you think is the worst friend ever

Percy in The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue is so self-centered, I had trouble finishing this book. He was just an asshole and I didn’t want to read anything about him. I pushed through because I was listening to the audio on a plane but I really don’t see why everyone’s raving about that one, it was just plain bad.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT LOVE INTEREST

pick a character you think would be an awful romantic partner

Beck from You by Caroline Kepnes is a horrible human being and I know Joe is supposed to be the creep but I was actually rooting for him because Beck just deserved everything that was coming her way.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT VILLAIN

pick a character that you thought would have amazing evil plans but fell short and disappointed you 

Voldemort in the Harry Potter series could have been so much more… but the end of the series was just so disappointing, no one ever became good at magic (are they really still only using Stupefy in book 7??) and it was just sad. I loved books 1 to 5 to death, but book 6 started going downhill and book 7 was just plain disappointing. After all these years I’m still mad about it and don’t understand why no one else felt let down. 

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT FAMILY

pick a horrible bookish family

History of Wolves by Emily Fridlund has not 1 but 2 horrible families! Very different but both very bad, especially if you’re a kid and have to rely on adults to keep you safe. It’s even worse because it’s realistic, it’s not a thriller or a horror book and you just know this could happen in real life. I have a full review here.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT PLOT TWIST

pick a book with the worst plot twist

Bring Me Back by B.A. Paris had the most horribly unbelievable and stupid twist I’ve ever read! I’m so glad I didn’t DNF that book because I can now say it’s probably the worst book I’ve read in my entire life.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT TROPE

pick that trope you wish would be avoided in all future publications

I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone so not going to mention a specific title here, but I HATE it when authors HAVE to make their main protagonist pregnant even though she never felt like having kids, but as soon as she realizes she’s pregnant suddenly it’s the best thing that has ever happened to her. Especially in thrillers. That’s not what we’re here for. We’re here for you to solve murders, not puke your breakfast every 5 pages!! Women do not need to be mothers to be accomplished.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT COVER

pick that awful cover that almost made you miss a great book

Dear Mrs Bird by A.J. Pierce was an underrated gem of a book but that cover is so ugly, I understand why no one’s talking about it. Too bad, if you ever see it I recommend you pick it up!

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT ENDING

pick a book that has the most disappointing ending

Sweetpea by C.J. Skuse started out SO GOOD and the ending was so unnerving! I won’t pick up book 2 because that ending was a total screw-up for me, it kind of transformed the book from a fun thriller to some kind of a paranormal tale? I don’t want to spoil it but that plot device was horrible and exactly the type of thing I hate.

THE NOT-SO-PERFECT EXPECTATIONS

pick a book that was so hyped that it disappointed you, and you can’t understand why everyone loves it so much

The Shades of Magic Trilogy was just so underwhelming… I don’t know what it was but I just didn’t click with it. Everyone seems to have strong feelings about the characters but none of them was interesting enough for me to feel invested in their adventures. At one point I thought I would love Alucard but then he was relegated to the shadows and his story was never developed. The story was also wrapped up in a convenient way that never became epic. Just overall disappointing.

This was a lot of fun and it let me get in touch with my inner meanie, which sometimes has to come out because it keeps me sane. I’m always scared that something that I will post will offend someone and I’m soooo tired of that (more to come on that in another post), so this was a good therapeutic moment!（ ☆ω☆ ）

 

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I’M TAGGING…

 Ellyn Krystin   Sara 

If you’d like to do the tag and I didn’t tag you, consider yourself tagged and let me know when you post! If you’re a fan of rant reviews like I am, I think this could be a lot of fun!

Thanks for stopping by! (๑•́ ₃ •̀๑)